Navigating living arrangements for children after a divorce can be challenging, especially as parents decide how to share parental rights. They must determine whether to agree on joint custody or for one parent to take on sole custody.
Living Arrangements for Children After Divorce: Legal and Physical Custody Options
Let’s get into more details on living arrangements for the children after separation and divorce of their parents.
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LIVING ARRANGEMENTS FOR CHILDREN AFTER SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
Living arrangements after separation and divorce depend on whether parents have agreed to share parental rights, in the case of joint custody or if one parent will exercise these rights independently, in the case of sole custody.
Let’s explore the most important facts about them and the difference between joint and sole custody.
JOINT CUSTODY: LEGAL AND PHYSICAL OPTIONS
When circumstances support joint custody, parents have two primary choices:
- Legal Joint Custody
- Physical, Actual Joint Custody
In both legal and physical joint custody, parents work together to maintain a stable and nurturing environment for their child.
1. Legal Joint Custody
In legal joint custody, parents live separately, with the child residing physically with one parent.
However, both parents share decision-making responsibilities on all matters related to the child’s upbringing, education, health, and overall well-being.
This arrangement allows both parents to be involved in the child’s life while living separately.
2. Physical, Actual Joint Custody
In physical, actual joint custody, parents share daily responsibilities in a way that resembles their co-parenting style before separation. Here, the child has two homes and alternates between the two, with each parent contributing actively to their care. However, in this case, it’s also mandatory to define the child’s residence.
This type of custody maintains close parental involvement, as both parents continue to care for the child directly, even though they live in separate households.
For physical joint custody to be effective and in the best interest of the child, certain conditions generally need to be met:
- Physical proximity of the two homes: Both households should be close enough to allow the child an easy transition between them.
- School continuity: The arrangement should ideally allow the child to stay at the same school, preserving stability in their education and social life.
- Social environment: Physical joint custody should support the child in remaining within their established social circles and familiar environment, helping them feel secure.
- Avoiding exhaustion: The arrangement should avoid overburdening the child, ensuring they’re not subjected to excessive travel, long commutes, or fatigue from constant transitions.
SOLE CUSTODY
The main difference between legal joint custody and sole custody lies in the decision-making process (authority). While sole custody allows the custodial parent to make decisions independently, legal joint custody requires both parents to make significant decisions collaboratively.
However, even in sole custody, the non-custodial parent still has a role in making decisions on significant matters affecting the child’s life, such as:
- Child’s education: Both parents discuss decisions about school choice and general educational direction.
- Major medical procedures: Both parents must agree on any serious medical interventions that could affect the child’s health long-term.
- Disposal of a child’s assets (Managing valuable belongings owned by the child): Both parents must jointly agree on managing valuable belongings owned by the child, especially if they hold significant financial or sentimental value.
- Change of residence: Any decision that involves relocating the child, which would impact their daily life or routines, also requires both parents’ consent.
Once children reach an age where they can legally make these decisions on their own (usually around 14 to 16 years old, depending on local laws), they may no longer require parental decision-making on these matters.
However, all younger children should still be involved in the decision making process to a ‘reasonable degree’, in ways that suit their age and level of maturity. The Convention On The Rights Of The Child from 1989 guarantees them this right in its article number 12. You can find it here.
If you need support with:
- (pre)divorce and postdivorce-related concerns and exercise of parental rights so that you can be sure nothing you care about is left to chance and unaddressed, and get critical insights on the best practices for you which are suitable for all (you and the kids) in your particular situation,
- effective and assertive communication around exercise of parental rights during or after a divorce that supports the child’s best interest, so that you can go through this process as easy as possible and with the least amount of challenge, setbacks, or throw offs,
- making sure you create as healthy and as supportive environment for your child as you (reasonably) can now that the family structure has changed.
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FINAL THOUGHTS ON LIVING ARRANGEMENTS FOR CHILDREN AFTER SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
The choice between joint and sole custody or legal and physical joint custody ultimately depends on the family’s unique circumstances and what will best support the child’s well-being. Meeting these conditions helps to ensure that both parents can remain actively involved in the child’s life without compromising stability, routine, or their emotional well-being.
I hope you found this helpful and if you’re interested in learning how to divorce without hurting your child, read my posts that covers 6 principles to stick to. Here it is:
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