Everyone is talking about how to help a child reach full potential and positive parenting nowadays, right? Do you consider yourself to be a positive parent?
If you’re not exactly sure, then you’ve hit the right web page because we’re fans of positive parenting! As well as parents who invest themselves into helping a child reach full potential.
How To Help Your Child Reach Their Full Potential – 7 Positive Parenting Rules
This post does tackle what’s considered positive parenting and who is a positive parent. But more importantly, it’ll tell you what you need to do with your parenting skills to ensure a child achieves that potential.
And considering parenting skills can be improved, that’s amazing news for any parent because it means you can have control over the process of helping a child reach full potential!
Let’s get moving on to our amazing topic of helping a child reach full potential!
This post has affiliate links which means that we make a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. For more information read our Affiliate disclosure.
Note: Even though I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), I am not your licensed clinical social worker (LCSW). This means engaging with our website is not considered a professional social worker and client relationship. This also means you should not consider this information as professional advice. Although we do put in every reasonable effort to provide the most accurate and reliable information, this does not replace professional advice, and you should not rely only on them. You still might need to consult a professional to introduce your particular situation, issue, problem, or position. Read our full Disclaimer here.
First, let’s quickly see how is a positive parent defined anyway, so we can get to the most interesting part of our today’s journey, which is raising a child with full potential.
Don’t have enough time but really want to go through the whole post? If you’d like to take it with you, get it as a print-friendly pdf with no interruptions on page. Plus you’ll be a direct supporter of this blog.
WHAT IS POSITIVE PARENTING AND HOW IT’S RELATED TO HELPING A CHILD REACH FULL POTENTIAL
Positive parenting is parental behavior shaped by the child’s best interest and the child’s rights. But with being conscious and considerate of the parent’s position, needs, and resources at the same time.
A child’s best interest is a term from the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and I encourage you to familiarize yourself with it if you haven’t already, of course.
Like I mentioned in the post about 12 questions you need to ask yourself to self-estimate your skills concerning child guidance, when people want to know more about positive parenting, they usually mention positive guidance.
So I emphasized the fact that positive parenting is not exactly a synonym for guidance and boundaries. But, effective guidance and boundaries are an integral part of positive parenting.
Let’s see how we define a positive parent in the shortest and most easily remembered:
- A positive parent is a parental figure who acknowledges children as competent individuals entitled to their rights. And their rights can’t be transferred to someone else or alienated.
- A positive parent leads children towards achieving their full potential while protecting them from harm and raising them in a safe environment. But WITHOUT overprotecting and stopping them from making their own choices, with evolving autonomy in decision-making.
- A positive parent is a parent who’s setting the limits for the child to help the child internalize the moral norms, and is shaping prosocial behavior in a child.
How does it sound to you? Does it resonate with what you believe is positive parenting? Let me know in the comments.
And now let’s get to how can you make sure your kid reaches the full potential we just mentioned.
HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THEIR CHILDREN ACHIEVE THEIR FULL POTENTIAL?
To help your child reach their full potential, as a parent you should:
- Be emotionally warm and responsive.
- Show support.
- Be Present.
- Set and clear out the rules and expectations.
- Put effort into understanding a child’s behavior. Point out and praise good behavior, and react to misbehavior in a nonviolent manner.
- Help children integrate their life experiences.
- Focus on reparation more than on retribution. But when using punishment are fair and righteous and never vindictive, cruel, or harmful.
And these fit the characteristics of a democratic or balanced parenting style, widely known as an authoritative parenting style. So if you’d like to know more about whether or not this is your parenting style and what effects it produces in children, I have 2 blog posts that cover that topic for you.
Now let’s get back to helping the child reach the full potential components we just talked about.
So even though some of them are self-explanatory, others are not, or are less mentioned but are equally important. Therefore, we should quickly get to know them better, so you’ll be able to incorporate them into your everyday life as soon as possible.
If you haven’t already, of course. Now let’s explore them together.
Let’s see who are the parents that are the best in helping a child reach full potential.
When there is emotionally warm and responsive parenting, the kids are certain they’re loved, cherished, and respected enough as a person, as human beings.
In practice, this means that you show you care with a set of different responses as well as accompanying actions, practices, and the right amount of flexibility.
As a result, you respond well to their emotions and developmental needs.
So let’s see what it takes:
- You know how to manage your emotions.
- You have empathy and understanding of their emotions and emotional needs.
- You respond to a child’s emotions properly most of the time, by accepting them, acknowledging them, and avoiding punishing children for having those emotions.
- You are able to de-center so you can understand their manner of thinking and reasoning.
- You manage to find a balance between independence and dependence according to their maturity level/developmental phase.
- You’re ‘’reasonable’’ about protection.
- You have a tendency of being honest and open with them.
- You let them have a saying about their situation and be heard and seen (participation).
- You make them feel included.
If you don’t excel at everything equally, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not good at parenting or that your child isn’t living a fulfilling life.
What’s important here is doing things to be even better. And considering you’re here that means that you’re doing exactly that.
You’re a good parent because of it.
And if you want to know more about how to put your (or other parents’) emotional responsiveness into perspective, read my post about 4 signs of emotionally responsive parenting.
This one is connected to emotional responsiveness closely. And that’s because it implies having skills like empathy and de-centering we just talked about. Because how can you show real support if you can’t switch positions with those you’re trying to give it to.
But sometimes we don’t have to actually be entirely devoid of empathy, but we still might end up being non-supportive or not supportive enough at times.
This sometimes comes from fear, from the urge to protect children or any close one.
Other times our mindset is simply wrong, or we have some different emotions that are in the way of this.
You know this, you’ve probably felt it like a hundred times. If you haven’t then good for you, you’re a lucky one!
It’s easier to be judgemental because the unknown is sometimes overwhelming.
So what’s important here is to simply exercise this. Because we all can use it and need it almost always in our relationships. And it’s no different with the kids.
What’s most important is having their back. Just remember the process of teaching them how to ride a bike for example.
You encourage, motivate, and help them master doing it on their own. You carefully correct them as well as let them fail too, so they can learn from their mistakes and then become better.
But what you don’t let them is give up.
So that means you avoid being discouraging and overly criticizing. Because you don’t really want them to stop trying, to fear failure excessively, and feel paralyzed to try new things.
This will help them explore life and life’s possibilities more, become more independent, be authentic, and ”find themselves” faster.
If you want to dive a little deeper into this topic, read my blog post dedicated to helping you become a more supportive parent:
Or if you want to make sure you’re letting your children know you care the best way, check out my post How to Show Your Child You Care Quotes.
Don’t have enough time but don’t want to miss any of the tips on helping your child reach full potential? Take it with you as a print-friendly pdf with no interruptions on page. Plus you’ll be a direct supporter of this blog.
#3. BE PRESENT
Now, I must say this tends to get into an exaggeration where parents are pushed into guilt if they don’t spend every minute with their children.
I’m not saying you don’t want to spend every minute with them or that you shouldn’t.
I simply suggest a more flexible approach. Because we’re not magicians nor almighty, and we need to do other things in life, too when it’s time for them.
We have to get to work to support those kids of ours, right? And that’s just one example.
Also, we need to do things that are only for our personal needs. This is healthy for our mental health.
I encourage you to of course put your child’s needs first, so you won’t neglect the child, but also to set boundaries for yourself and others.
If you know how to take care of yourself you will be able to take care of them better. If it’s only 15 minutes a day, then be it. But set the boundaries and stick to them. Women especially need this. If you don’t set the boundaries then who will respect them if you first don’t?
You might feel guilty at first, but I encourage you to endure the pain it’s causing. It’ll get easier.
Also, your children need to see that nobody can satisfy every need they have at every single moment. You’ll contribute to their dealing with frustration.
Also, they should get accustomed to being separated from you occasionally. And you too need this. I truly believe this is beneficial to all of you.
Of course, to be present is not only a matter of physical presence. It’s the emotional presence and support, the dedication of your time and attention to children, as well as showing them you respect them and that they’re valuable as human beings and important to you.
- The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
- The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
- Dr Shefali Tsabary Collection 3 Books Set (The Awakened Family, The Conscious Parent, A Radical Awakening)
- How Do I Feel?: A Mental Health Journal for Kids
- The Self-Love Workbook: A Life-Changing Guide to Boost Self-Esteem, Recognize Your Worth and Find Genuine Happiness (Self-Love Books)
- SPONSORED: Self-Love Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion and Embrace Who You Are (Self-Help Workbooks for Women)
- How to Be Accountable Workbook: Take Responsibility to Change Your Behavior, Boundaries, & Relationships (5-Minute Therapy)
- Happiness Workbook: A CBT-Based Guide to Foster Positivity and Embrace Joy
- Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs (5-minute Therapy)
- No More Perfect Moms: Learn to Love Your Real Life
- More Than A Mom: Finding Purpose In the Everyday Monotony Without Losing Yourself Or Your Sanity
#4. SET AND CLEAR OUT THE RULES AND EXPECTATIONS
Every family has its rules and expectations and they should be talked about, discussed, and clarified. This is important because those rules that are implied can cause misunderstandings, troubles, and all in all many headaches.
You need to make sure a kid knows them, and that you all respect them. And you need to have a set of disciplinary mechanisms and measures that you seek out when they’re not followed.
Of course, if they’re reasonable, flexible (not too strict and not too soft), appropriate by nature, and suitable for the child’s age.
A child needs to know about them too. Consistency is the key.
But also, keep in mind that you need to be flexible enough to modify the rules if they’re not good for everyone anymore.
I have a blog post dedicated to setting the rules and if you want to know how to do this the best way, I suggest you check it out. Here’s the link to it: How To Set Rules For Kids The Best Way.
Also, you need to think about whether your children understand them in a way that they find them rightful and fair. I’m not talking about classic child complaints. I’m talking about leading a child into misery.
For example, it shouldn’t create a constant filing that the parents are the privileged ones. This happens when parents ask a child to do things they don’t model and don’t respect themselves.
For example, if it’s about bad habits, the most effective way to make a progress and show your child not to do something is to go change your habit.
That’s not always easy to do, but I encourage you to make an effort for your and your child’s sake. It’s a win-win situation.
When it comes to expectations, it’s important to motivate children to achieve their goals, progress, learn, and develop to the fullest. And you can do it by setting high expectations and good structure. And to achieve this you have to support them and motivate them through this.
But of course, with thinking about rewarding them for their good efforts. As well as provide enough time to play and enjoy too.
Much more about this and the next matter we’ll get into in a sec, you can find in my post Child Guidance: 12 Questions for Parent Self-evaluation.
Or if you need an introduction to child guidance – a dimension of parenting capacity called the guidance and boundaries setting – read my blog post What is the Purpose of Child Guidance.
If you’re not familiar with the term parenting capacity and if you want to learn about the 6 dimensions of parenting capacity, then read my blog post that explores this in full detail.
LIVE Q&A And Consultations with Jovana (WISHLIST)
Want a chance to get included in live weekly calls with me and get access to my expert insights, advice, recommendations, and guidance for your unique situation?
Consider signing up if you are aiming for:
- achieving tremendous child-parent relationships with the least effort possible as you learn what to focus your attention to
- attuning to healthy child development practices without losing yourself in the process and ignoring your human needs, rights, and aspirations for your life
- getting skilled in honoring the child’s best interest in each life situation with the help of a few key rules and principles (child wellbeing, independence, autonomy, participation, and equality)
- experiencing a supportive and cooperative relationship with the other parent or a co-parent even in high-conflict circumstances
Address your doubts, concerns, and challenges, but also reflect on your situation through the experiences of others in the community.
You’ll unlock monthly access for 60% off of my current hourly rate!
#5. PUT EFFORT INTO UNDERSTANDING A CHILD’S BEHAVIOR, POINT OUT AND PRAISE GOOD BEHAVIOR, AND RESPOND TO THE MISBEHAVIOR IN A NONVIOLENT MANNER
I’d add to put a reasonable amount of effort.
Now, this can be so hard at times, because a child can put so much resistance and defensive behavior in front of us. We might think a child is so rude but the truth can be that it’s sad and unaccepted. But also it can be that it’s resisting for the right reasons!
A child can be so obedient and we might think ”Oh my gosh what a lovely child to have or see”! But what can lie underneath the facade can be a child that’s so frightened and withdrawn because it’s so insecure or even abused.
Or you can have a mischievous child which is so curious and adventurous that you should be kissing them for it! Instead of calling them misbehaved.
So what I’m trying to say is:
- First, everything is not what it seems, so you must put a reasonable effort to explore it a little bit and see what’s really happening to your child.
- Second, you should manage your expectation and let them be a child, but with setting proper limits.
- Third, avoid violence as a mechanism of control and use positive disciplining, and use it consistently.
- And fourth, praise good behavior to reinforce it.
When it comes to setting proper limitations, it’s about making sure they know what’s considered acceptable and what isn’t. And why it is so. It’s like a map you’re giving them so they don’t get lost. They won’t know unless you teach them.
Of course, they’ll want to test the limits, feel and push the boundaries. They’re kids and so many things are new to them! Adults do it too, like all the time. This is so humane.
Also, it’s about understanding the importance of setting personal boundaries for themselves and respecting them in relation to other people.
This way you support the internalization of moral norms and strengthen prosocial behavior. More about this you can find in my post Child guidance: 12 questions for a parent self-evaluation.
And if you need more information about providng guidance for children and where is guidances positioned in child development, read my blog post: Guidance Of Parents: What Is It In Child Development?.
None of this is easy, you have so much on your plate, but I know you can do it!
#6. HELP CHILDREN INTEGRATE THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCES
First, let them have their own experiences, so you get to help them integrate them. I know you want to protect them it’s completely natural, but you need to learn how to balance this. You’ve got this!
As they evolve they have a need for more independence and you should respect that. Respect their boundaries.
This will strengthen their capability to deal with life. Also, you simply can’t prevent every inconvenience, harm, or bad experience. It’s not possible and you shouldn’t because they need to learn to cope with it, too.
This is super important because things won’t go their way always in life. So help them adapt to that. Help them deal with frustration because this will make them more social, functional, and more skilled.
Also, support them in dealing with bad experiences. If you’ve, for example, adopted a child or you’re fostering, keep in mind that you can’t save them from the experience they already have.
Nobody can rewrite their previous life story, so what you can do is help them integrate thighs, recover and move on. This will help them ‘’write’’ a better future.
And it goes for other children too.
If they need to talk it through then support them.
If they don’t find out why.
Are they feeling overwhelmed and is too painful, or it’s something else? Ask what they need and give them enough space.
You may be interested in reading also:
#7. FOCUS ON REPARATION INSTEAD OF RETRIBUTION
This one is one of those I mentioned as less common in the everyday talk about parenting, child’s needs, as well as positive disciplining, too. And I, personally and professionally, find it very important for everyone to comprehend.
And not only when it comes to kids, but adults as well. But let’s focus on the kids because it’s a completely different matter.
So what does this basically mean?
What this is really about is not rocket science, it’s pretty simple, but it interferes with our common patterns of thinking or mindset about ’’bad behavior’’ and punishment for it.
So it’s ”tricky”. We were taught there is a bad deed and there is punishment for it, what else there is, right? Or is it?
So when someone says (example): ”but why don’t you avoid the punishment and go for repairing the damage they did, or learning better ways, make up for the wrong it came out of it?”, many people would even feel offended.
So, of course, at first, they’ll sense the urge to oppose it. Because that’s more inconvenient, considering we first tend to do things in a way that’s more comfortable to us.
So many would immediately say ”hey, are you suggesting abolishing the penalty system, are you nuts’’??
So it’s the fear of the unknown talking because what it’s being said is – FOCUS on repairing the damage. Not FORGET about the punishments it’s soooo outdated.
But what I want from you and I always repeat it, is to choose an open mind instead of prejudice and fear here.
So it’s focusing on reparation, but when using punishment being fair, righteous, and never cruel and harmful.
So what it takes is taking care of the consequences and outcomes of the deeds first.
WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO FOCUS ON REPARATION WHEN YOU’RE THINKING OF PUNISHING CHILDREN
So it’s showing your child what was the outcome of their behavior – who got hurt, what will happen because of it, etc.
Communicate this to your kids, show them, let them experience it, etc. Don’t be afraid to get creative.
And then opening the space for the child to do something good about it, which will even things out. And most importantly to LEARN FROM ITS MISTAKES, LEARN THE BETTER WAY TO BEHAVE.
It’s a chance for the child to get back on track to being accepted as a good person after repairing the damage.
A person who deserves good things, second chances, hope, and the opportunity to do better next time.
At the same time it’s a chance for things, people, and relationships that got damaged, broken, hurt to get back to normal.
Just think about the situation when you were a victim of fraud, harm, or any injustice. What did you crave the most at that moment?
Also, I’m not saying sorry will cut it. I’m saying it’s asking what a side that god damaged needs now, and taking care of those needs.
And also, remember the people who tend to punish or overly punish themselves. What do you think where this came from? Why and when was this installed in their heads so know they can’t live a normal life? Because this is affecting every part of their life, they just don’t recognize it yet.
I’m not saying it’s their parents, I’m saying it’s society’s traditional way to deal with bad deeds and punishment.
Are you that person maybe? Just think about it and all I’m asking here is to try to keep an open mind.
And of course, when it comes to punishment, it needs to be balanced according to the weight of the mistake. But NEVER cruel, hateful, and vindictive.
Because the focus of your job as a parent is to teach a child to differ right from wrong, not punish it because it didn’t obey any command and rule there is.
And for those who want to dig into the right way to use punishment go to this post – What Is The Best Way To Punish A Child?.
WANT TO TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER AND ENSURE TRUE CONNECTION AND AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITH YOUR CHILD?
If the answer is yes, I want to recommend a program called Conscious Parenting Mastery, created by well-known parenting expert Dr. Shefali hosted on Mindvalley.
With it you’ll uncover what it takes to raise confident and authentic kids, how to honor your child as a sovereign, get over projecting your needs onto your child, what blocks connection between you and your chid, and more!
This is a great 35-day program you can consume at your pace or enroll in a class, created by Dr. Shefali, an experienced psychologist who works with families and creates courses and programs to help parents resolve divergence in their relationship with their children through connection with them. Or to simply learn how to best meet the needs of their child and ensure they have the best relationship.
I must say this is for those who are most determined to change things around and experience more connection with their children than ever, more confidence in their parenting skills, and more joy of parenting.
That’s because they won’t have to worry if they’re doing alright anymore or if their actions will affect their kids negatively.
If you’re the determined and decisive one, know that you can begin reaping the rewards of your transformation even today!
Well-known (and pretty famous) Dr. Shefali with her phenomenal program called Conscious Parenting Mastery will equip you with everything you need to become a parent who is able to raise kids who are:
You can become a proud parent you truly desire to be and experience true connection with your kids and a peace of mind because you’re giving them your best and are certain that you’re headed towards the brighter future.
Her proven framework will empower you to a step into a fully refreshed parenting role with more confidence and certainty that what you’re doing is what both you and your kids need. Plus, you should know that you don’t need to worry if you partner, the other parent doesn’t follow you right now, because you will see change anyway and you’ll positively influence them as well.
You can join today and start with the program to go at your pace or enroll in a class, where the each week starts after the other so then you’re hold accountable.
I highly recommend that you check out and enroll in this program because it has the power to truly transform both you and your parenting.
Another benefit you may want to consider is joining the membership instead of just getting the program simply because you’ll also get to choose from over a 100 programs in 6 different categories of personal development (mind, body, soul, relationships, career growth and entrepreneurship).
Mindvalley is an amazing platform created to level up your life by embracing personal growth and anyone can find programs that will fit their individual needs depending on the area of life they find troubling, too challenging, or simply want to improve to serve them best.
And if you decide to join the membership, you will get a chance to get the full Conscious Parenting Mastery program alongside with all these 100 other programs (and counting) for a single monthly price.
Plus you’ll also have access to the community of like-minded folks to connect with to whom you can relate. Right now you can enjoy the membership at a special price, so if you were thinking about expanding your self-growth so you can reach your full potential, there’s no better time than now.
What you can expect once you begin engaging with this platform is:
- true self-discovery so that you can start identifying your real preferences, aspirations, goals, and dreams
- setting meaningful goals that have the potential to fulfill your need for self-actualization as opposed to only living on someone else’s terms and building someone else’s dream in order to be accepted by the environment and perceived as successful
- liberation from fabricated societal expectation and norms that not only don’t serve you, but are in fact representing oppression which is suffocating your soul that only wants you to live in alignment with whom you truly are and not what society expects you to be
- to finally awaken your authenticity by letting yourself be visible as opposed to being shy or ashamed of who you are deep down or what you want behind the closed doors
- to acquire skills to make life decisions aligned with your core values and true desires coming from the depth of your being
- begin stepping into your potential and move towards reaching full potential unique for you and different from anyone else’s in the world
- become skilled at self-love that holds the key to building the life of your dreams
- finally become comfortable in your own skin, doing your own thing, and going where you truly want to go in life
- build the life you are proud to call your own and experience lasting fulfilment because your consciousness is so expanded that you don’t need to worry about whether things will work out for you ever again, as now you have skills and support to make them work.
If you choose a yearly option you get a FREE (1h) 1-on-1 consultation with me (worth $149), you just need to contact me with a copy of your receipt or some other proof and we’ll book a session.If you want to dive deeper into what this platform has to offer to you, read my post that mentions more than 30 programs you can expect to find on the platform if you decide to get inside the membership:
- 21 Gifts To Show You Care To Those You Cherish And Deepen Your Connection
- 15 Positive Gifts For Friends That Will Elevate Their Any Moment
- 11 Uplifting Gifts For Friends To Warm Their Hearts
- 51 Self-love Thoughts To Redefine Your Relationship with Yourself
- 100 Ways To Change Yourself And Empower Your Evolution
- 100 Ways To Improve Yourself (From Ordinary To Extraordinary)
Recommended Resources For You:
- Live By Your Own Rules Program: rediscover your true self and design a life of uncompromising authenticity and fulfillment in this soul-affirming journey where you’ll overcome oppressing and fabricated societal standards ruling your life without your conscious permission.
- Conscious Parenting Mastery Program: embrace a new model of parenting that will enable you to raise authentic, confident, and well-adjusted kids after you break free from the parenting norms that don’t serve you or your child.
- Becoming Focused And Indistractible FREE Masterclass: uncover what it takes to regain your focus and productivity in a distraction-filled world and becoming indistractable in this empowering program. And help your kids become it too.
- Energy Medicine FREE Masterclass: by Donna Eden: follow a renowned healer extensively recognized by both scientific and alternative branches of healthcare in a transformational journey towards awakening your body’s natural healing ability and understand how to reconnect with the natural healing systems existing within you and master your body’s energy systems and correct energetic blocks and weaknesses.
- The Integral Life FREE Masterclass: by a legendary modern philosopher Ken Wilber, uncover how you can embody his signature integral theory for a life of deeper fulfillment, self-actualization, and impact. The Integral Life offers an ‘operating manual’ for thinking, growing, and being the most whole and fully realized version of yourself.
- Be Extraordinary FREE Masterclass: understand how you can achieve higher states of consciousness, tap into your fullest potential, and bend your life’s reality.
- Uncompromised Life FREE Masterclass: learn about Marisa Peer’s acclaimed Transformational Hypnotherapy process for creating deep and lasting change in your inner programming and your life.
- The Silva Ultramind System FREE Masterclass: get familiarized with Hose Silva’s techniques and tools for harnessing altered states of mind to awaken your mind’s fullest potential and transform your reality.
- Longevity Blueprint FREE Masterclass: learn more about a blueprint to extraordinary longevity and health, based on leading-edge science and time-tested data from the world’s longest-living cultures, giving you the ultimate solution to a long, healthy, fulfilling life.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON HELPING YOUR CHILD REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL
We’ve reached the!
And I’m so happy that you stayed because this is a sign of dedicated parenting considering you gave your precious time to your child this way! This is a good start for any parent who engages in helping a child reach full potential.
Your child is lucky to have you!
So we’ve talked about what it means to be a positive parent and what is positive parenting in terms of using it to lead your child to their full potential.
So, if you think someone, or MANY, would benefit from it, share it or pin it!
And now to you – how do you think parents can become the best in helping a child reach full potential? Use the comment section below.
Or check out: