Ways to help your child mentally prepare for a move to a new home can make all the difference in how smoothly the transition goes. Moving is one of life’s most stressful experiences, and children often feel the impact even more deeply than adults. Sometimes it’s because they’re not included in the process in ways that meet their needs. And when we’re talking about natural consequences of moving, kids can take more time to process the loss of familiar surroundings, friends, and routines that once provided comfort and security.
The good news is that there are practical steps parents can take to ease this transition and give their children the support they need to cope and adapt.
Let’s see what they are.
Note: Although I am a Clinical Social Worker, engaging with this website does not establish a professional social worker-client relationship. The information provided here is for general purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. While we strive to ensure accuracy and reliability, this content is not a substitute for professional guidance. For specific concerns, issues, or situations, it is essential to consult a qualified professional and present your situation. Read the full Disclaimer here.
Stay Transparent And Involve Them In The Process
Children know when something significant is happening in the family, even when parents don’t give them the details. Avoid being this kind of parent and share information about the move as early as possible, explaining the reasons behind the decision and what they can expect.
Additionally, involve them in the process in accordance with their age, maturity, and evolving capacities to take part.
Active involvement helps children feel valuable and reduces feelings of helplessness that accompany changes where a person that has to go through it isn’t consulted in any way.
This participation acknowledges them as active participants in their family’s journey (not passive recipients of change) and gives them things to look forward to along the way.
Include them in decision-making because this is a decision that affects their life (significantly). It’s important to enable them to feel in control over their life that way. Plus, they’ll adjust more easily to changes they were an active participant in creating.
They can take part in any part of the process.
This is not a common practice in our world, even though all children have the right to participate in decision-making on things that affect their lives. Still, be a part of a change of outdated and unsuitable practices!
Depending on the kids’ age and maturity, your child can be included in decision-making—from big decisions like taking part in a decision to move in the first place to small ones such as choosing furniture pieces/decoration for their room or home in general.
This doesn’t suggest a child shares the responsibility with adults; it means adults share power with children by enabling their voices to be heard and honored.
When informing them (doing this with an aim to educate them on the matter so that they can make a choice based on the right information, or just sharing the details on the move if they’re very young), answer all their questions and gently yet intentionally share changes and potential challenges they should expect.
Building on this foundation of honesty is crucial for helping them process the change successfully.
Consider these additional tips:
1) Validate Their Feelings, Whatever They Are
Even when kids are involved in the process, they can still experience difficult emotions concerning different circumstances that follow the move.
Acknowledge and support them in naming them, avoiding any judgmental communication. Phrases like, “I understand you’re sad about leaving your friends,” or “It’s okay to feel angry about this change,” show them their feelings are valid and that you are a safe person to share them with.
Avoid dismissing their concerns and feelings with statements like, “Don’t be sad;, you shouldn’t be angry”; etc.
2) Tailor the Conversation to Their Age and Maturity
- For young children (ages 2-5): Keep it concrete. Focus on what will stay the same. “We are moving to a new house! Your bed is coming, all your toys are coming, and Mommy and Daddy are coming with you.” You can use visual aids like photos of the new house, town, or school.
- For school-aged children (ages 6-12): They will need more details about the logistics and how it impacts their world. Remember, we’re not just sticking details on them; we’re enabling their participation. Plus, the older the child in this group, the more due attention you should give to their views on the matter. Explain the “why” behind the move in terms they are comfortable with (e.g., “a new job,” “to be closer to Grandma”). Talk about their new school, opportunities for their favorite activities, and how you will help them stay in touch with their current friends.
- For teenagers (ages 13-18): Their social world is paramount. Acknowledge that the timing is difficult and that leaving their friends is a huge loss. These kids get to be involved in the decision-making in a way that they either decide for themselves (ages 15+) or their views on the matter have a huge impact on any final decisions (10+). This age group practices agency (besides being taken into account seriously concerning the move itself), for example, by researching and choosing their new school, helping choose a neighborhood, or planning how the interior will be decorated.
3) Create a Family Narrative
Frame the move not as something being done to them, but as a new chapter you are all starting together.
Use “we” and “our” language. “Our family is going on a new adventure,” or “This is a big step for us, and we’ll figure it out as a team.”
This fosters a sense of unity and shared purpose.
4) Make it a Dialogue, Not a Monologue
The initial conversation is just the beginning. Create regular opportunities for them to ask questions, share their feelings, and participate as the move gets closer.
Check in with them periodically: “How are you feeling about the move today?” This shows you know their feelings can change and that the door for communication is always open.
5) It’s Okay to Not Have All the Answers
It builds trust to admit when you don’t know something. If they ask, “Will I have a best friend by Christmas?” an honest response is better than a false promise.
You can say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know we will do everything we can to help you meet new people and feel at home. It might take some time, and that’s okay.”
This models the transparency you want to see in them, as well as teaches them how to sit with uncertainty.
Ask If They’d Like A Goodbye Ritual (Organize It If They Do)
Plan meaningful ways for your child to say farewell to important places and people. This might include taking photos of their current room, visiting their favorite local spots one last time, or hosting a farewell party with friends.
These rituals provide closure and validate a child’s experience, honoring the significance of what they’re leaving behind.
Help Kids Stay Connected with Friends
Technology makes maintaining friendships across distances easier than ever before. Help your child exchange contact information with close friends and establish regular video calls or messaging schedules.
Encourage your child to share updates about their new experiences, and consider planning return visits whenever possible.
Make the Moving Process as Easy as Reasonably Possible
Minimize additional stress by maintaining routines wherever possible during the moving period. For example, keep favorite comfort items easily accessible, stick to regular meal and bedtime schedules, and avoid making other major changes simultaneously if possible within your current circumstances.
The more continuity you can preserve in other areas of life, the better your child can cope with changes of moving.
Reducing common moving headaches can also make the process easier for the whole family. For example, renting the right size moving truck can better accommodate your items and make moving more efficient, whether you’re moving homes or planning a same-day apartment move.
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Final Thoughts On How To Help Your Child Mentally Prepare For A Move To A New Home
Moving challenges the whole family, but children should have extra time and support to adjust to their new environment. Practicing these tips to help your child mentally prepare for a move can transform an intimidating experience into an opportunity for growth.
Remember that adjustment takes time, and some children may need more time to feel truly settled in their new home. Still, keep in mind that the more they feel in control, the better the outcomes.
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