Question 1

what's self-love?

Accepted Answer

Self-love is meeting your needs in order to take care of yourself best, and provide well-being and happiness for yourself but with being attentive to the needs of others, and without any exploit of others and their well-being or endangering their human and other rights. So ''addressing'' your needs but being responsive to the needs of others, too. Also, self-love is not uniform, which means people can take care of themselves unequally and this can still be considered as self-love.

Question 2

why is self-love important?

Accepted Answer

Self-love is important if you strive to have a healthy connection with yourself, and other people. Self-love helps you meet your needs better and take care of yourself in a more balanced way. If you know what you need, you have a better chance to maintain quality relationships. Lack of self-love has a potential to bring bad habits, bad lifestyle, troubling relationships, physical or mental health problems, etc.

Question 3

can self-love be taught?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Everything we had learned can be replaced with something that serves us more. This means that you can learn to love yourself. What you can do to grow and nurture self-love, is find a way that suits you best and gives the best results specifically for you. What works for you doesn't necessarily need to work for others and vice versa.

Question 4

Where to start with self-love?

Accepted Answer

You can decide to go for self-help, which is self-guided (with relying on reliable sources), or use external assistance like for example psychotherapy, but not limited to it only, naturally. First reflect on where you are now, where you want to be, and why is this important to you. This way you can define what comes next and what you need to do to truly start your self-love journey. Reading about it isn't enough, you must practice and be persistent as well as find the best way for you specifically. You can't copy ready-made solutions.

Question 5

Is self-love selfish?

Accepted Answer

There is a common misconception that people who are more selfish love themselves more than those that aren't as selfish, but the truth is actually the opposite. The key is knowing what is enough for you so then you don't have to keep taking from others (not only material things but also energy or attention, etc). Selfishness includes an underlying fear of not having enough so there comes continuous grabbing or not giving to others. Growing self-love is not and should never be considered selfish. And the other thing you might personally be cautious about is being seen as selfish because you want to start loving yourself more. But what happens is that people who are ''right for you'' will never see taking care of yourself properly (always without using or harming others) as selfishness.

Question 6

Is self-love narcissism?

Accepted Answer

No. Narcissistic characteristics can be signalizing a lack of self-love, due to these people's relentless hunger for appreciation and admiration. Instead of self-love and true self-esteem that comes from knowing your value, the person is facing deeper insecurity and seeks compensation in different ways in order to feed insecurity or to avoid facing it. And this ends unsuccessfully because what needs to be understood is insecurity itself (by looking into it more), and by compensating the person is only maintaining it or enhancing it.

Question 7

When is self-love dangerous and is it bad?

Accepted Answer

Self-love journey is never dangerous and bad by nature. If you practice real self-love you can count on benefiting from it. But what happens is that other phenomena get mixed up with self-love, like narcissistic characteristics or selfishness, so then people think that self-love can do harm. Especially when they see narcisistic people hurt/harm others. What can seem as bad is maybe the fact that some people who prefer when you have less self-love will leave you when you stop neglecting yourself as a result of self-love. That's because now you don't take of their needs only anymore.

Question 8

how is self-love related to acceptance?

Accepted Answer

To really love yourself you, need to accept the good and the bad about yourself so you can change aspects of your life that don't serve you, and enhance parts that you do.
Aldo, by desperately trying to be acceptanced everywhere you go is in conflict with self-love, and detrimental to your life, because going down this route eventually leads to giving up on integrity in order to get accepted.

Question 9

is self-love the best love?

Accepted Answer

Self-love can be the best love of all because of the benefits that it creates for other love because more self-love means more love in all your interpersonal relationships  When you love yourself more you tend to make better decisions, dependent on your true desires and needs and not on what you're expected to do. This creates a more fulfilling life.

Question 10

can self-love heal?

Accepted Answer

Taking a self-love journey can heal, because the outcome of self-love is obtaining a skill/set of skills for nurturing yourself in a suitable way. This will be useful after you’ve encountered a difficult experience, as well, because with more self-love it’s more probable that you will take good care of yourself afterwards. And when some of your experiences affect your self-love, the best way to heal is empowering yourself through self-love so you can recover/rebuild.

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