Parents want their kids to get what they themselves may have a hard time obtaining, and for some parents, that can extend to self-appreciation. Let’s talk about modeling self-appreciation for kids when you struggle with it yourself.
Modeling Self-Appreciation For Kids: Activities
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MODELING SELF-APPRECIATION FOR KIDS: ACTIVITIES TO TRY
Parenting comes with a mix of responsibilities, joys, and challenges. You might wonder how to model self-appreciation for kids because you struggle with it yourself, and while it’s no easy task, know this—your effort matters.
This is not about chasing perfection or pretending to be what you aren’t; it starts with being intentional in your choices and actions one day at a time.
Let’s talk about how to cultivate a foundation of self-appreciation for your kids—even when you feel less than your best.
YOUR CHILD’S SELF-APPRECIATION STARTS WITH YOU
A child’s self-appreciation as well as self-love are deeply influenced by both how we treat them and what we model. We can’t teach self-love directly, but we can create an environment where they feel valued, accepted, and free to be themselves. This allows them to get to know and accept themselves for who they are, helping them cultivate self-love.
At the same time when we embrace our own flaws and allow mistakes and failures with self-compassion, they can feel free to do the same.
When we treat them with respect and allow for self-expression, they internalize their worth. But if we prioritize obedience over authenticity, they may grow up questioning their value.
The way we speak to them—and to ourselves—shapes their self-worth more than we realize.
Now let’s go into a little more details on these insights on modeling self-appreciation for your children I just gave you, combined with a few more.
#1 SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MISTAKES BEING HANDLED WITH GRACE
Mistakes are inevitable, but how you respond to your own mistakes can impact your children. Harsh self-criticism might seem natural if you have a hard time loving yourself, but showing self-compassion and accountability demonstrates a more effective approach.
Saying things like, “I made a mistake, and that’s OK—it’s how I learn,” can normalize errors and frame them as opportunities to grow.
Kids can internalize what they see. By treating yourself kindly during difficult moments, you’re equipping them with the tools to practice self-forgiveness and self-appreciation.
Mistakes and failures are part of life, and no one can navigate the world without them. If we don’t experience them, we need to question whether we’re truly living or we’re standing on the sidelines. By showing your children that you embrace your mistakes, they can feel more determined to accept and embrace their own.
#2 HIGHLIGHT SMALL VICTORIES
There is immense power in recognizing and celebrating small wins, including those that you feel are easier to just write off. When you acknowledge and verbalize moments of pride—like completing a task or learning something new—you lead by example.
Your kids see that success doesn’t always mean grand achievements.
Your ability to cheer yourself on, no matter how small the success, helps them understand that self-appreciation stems from these tiny moments too. Say, “I’m really proud of finishing that project even though it was hard,” and watch as they start to apply the same approach in their own lives.
#3 DEMONSTRATE CARE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE WITHOUT PRESSURE
While appearances aren’t everything, how you take care of yourself as well as present yourself can directly correlate to how you feel about yourself. For instance, showing your kids that you care about dressing in ways that make you feel like your best self or true self encourages them to do the same.
Instead of always sticking to what’s simply clean and ready to wear, consider elevating your outfits with accessories. Putting effort into your appearance, even if you’re just dropping the kids off at school, can teach a crucial lesson in how practical self-care measures can have emotional benefits.
If you, on the other hand, only appreciate yourself if you look perfect, then you may want to try some activities to grow more self-acceptance and self-love.
#4 SPEAK KINDLY ABOUT YOURSELF
Self-talk is a powerful model for children. Negative language (harsh self-talk) about your abilities, body, or choices can inadvertently teach them to be critical of themselves and others too.
Even if it doesn’t feel natural or comfortable for you, practice speaking kindly to and about yourself out loud.
Instead of pointing out what you don’t like about yourself, reframe your words.
For example, say, “I’m taking action to stay strong,” instead of, “I’m so out of shape I can’t look at myself.” This approach takes a conscious effort but can shift the household dynamic toward self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
#5 PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE (IT CAN BE IN SMALLER WAYS)
Investing in yourself (this doesn’t have to include money, but time or effort) sends a message to your kids that it’s necessary to practice self-care. Carving out time for hobbies, exercise, or moments of meditation doesn’t mean you’re selfish; it means you value yourself.
Children notice when parents actively take care of themselves in that way. Whether it’s a daily walk around the block or setting boundaries for rest, participating in activities that represent self-care gives your kids a good example to seek the same for their own well-being.
This is especially important if you are accustomed to doing things for others and forgetting (even neglecting) yourself.
Related Post: 27 SELF-CARE THINGS TO BUY TO INDULGE IN A REAL SELF-CARE BLISS.
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FINAL THOUGHTS ON MODELING SELF-APPRECIATION FOR YOUR KIDS
Nobody expects you to overcome the struggle to appreciate yourself and then model it overnight. What matters is showing your children the effort you put into loving yourself, day by day.
Modeling self-appreciation for kids doesn’t require us to be flawless—it’s about being human and growing along the way. When you create an environment that allows self-expression, you help your kids be their authentic selves and appreciate themselves for who they are.
A daily commitment could look like dressing intentionally to boost your mood, shifting your negative language to kindness, or celebrating a task completed. You can model self-appreciation for kids when you struggle with it yourself by simply practicing what you hope for them to learn.
Small, consistent steps will build both the connection with your kids and your own reservoir of self-appreciation.
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