Hey there, fellow self-love seeker! Are you ready to uncover some powerful self-love hacks that will propel you forward like you need?
Self-Love Hacks: 6 Practices to Cultivate More Love for Yourself
Well, you’re in the right place, because we’re about to dive into a treasure trove of practical activities and practises that will help you overcome setbacks and embrace self-love more easily.
You know, I call them Self-Love Hacks because they’ll help you set yourself up for success as you implement these self-love-growing activities and get used to self-treatment practises in alignment with self-love.
These self-love hacks are all about aligning your actions and mindset with the concept of self-love, allowing you to treat yourself with the care and compassion you deserve.
First up, we’ll talk about the art of mindful comparison. And explore how being aware of when you’re comparing yourself to others can impact your self-esteem, which may have already been shaken enough, and support you in going towards consciously choosing self-acceptance over the never-ending comparison cycle.
Next, get ready to unleash the power of self-compassion in every aspect of your life. I’ll show you how being gentle with yourself, both in the good and the bad, can help you grow, persevere, and achieve more in the long run.
What do you think about saying goodbye to being overly critical and saying hello to more nurturing and empowering self-talk?
Oh, and have you ever considered the transformative potential of journaling? Grab a journal or even a basic notebook and get ready for a ritual of self-exploration because it’s time to get to know yourself on a deeper level.
But wait, there’s more! We’ll also tackle the challenge of independent decision-making.
If you find yourself being dependent on validation and approval from others, I’ll tell you about the liberation of making choices that align with your true desires, as it’s about time to embrace your autonomy and trust yourself more.
Lastly, we’ll explore the power of embracing insecurity. Yes, you heard that right!
By allowing yourself to feel and navigate through insecurities, you can actually build resilience and develop genuine self-confidence.
So we’ll uncover how acknowledging and processing your insecurities can lead to a healthier and more balanced perspective of yourself, one that values your strengths while acknowledging areas for growth.
So buckle up and get ready to hack into self-love and create a life filled with self-acceptance, compassion, and unwavering self-worth.
Let’s dive into our self-love hacks!
Note: Even though I am a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), I am not your licensed clinical social worker (LCSW). This means engaging with our website is not considered a professional social worker and client relationship. This also means you should not consider this information as professional advice. Although we do put in every reasonable effort to provide the most accurate and reliable information, this does not replace professional advice, and you should not rely only on them. You still might need to consult a professional to introduce your particular situation, issue, problem, or position. Read our full Disclaimer here.
SELF-LOVE HACKS
#1 BE MINDFUL ABOUT COMPARISON
When you’re mindful about comparison, you can notice when you’re comparing yourself to others and how it affects your self-esteem.
You already have a certain level of self-esteem, but this doesn’t mean things can’t change, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It can start with this type of awareness.
That awareness enables you to learn how to consciously choose self-acceptance instead of the never-ending cycle of comparison. The comparison feeds itself but eats you—the more you do it, the more you need it.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with comparison, as we need to measure where we stand, therefore we look for individuals in a similar position around us to understand more about how we’re doing.
However, this is very different from only doing certain things that we don’t even know are in alignment with our values or desires so that we don’t feel less than, considering everyone else around us is doing them or we’re under a lot of social or peer pressure.
Especially if we don’t have real, tangible proof that we’re, in fact, less than.
It can be that we’re not, for instance, “successful” enough, but that fact still won’t change with our comparison rituals.
What will contribute to change is focusing on ourselves, because by obsessing over others, what we may be in fact doing is avoiding taking responsibility for our own situation, which is not satisfying for us.
So, it’s possible to be mindful of how often we get stuck in comparison or if we’re even obsessing with it.
Now, if you see that constant comparison is causing you trouble, try to understand when it is that you “reach for” comparison to understand more about your emotional needs, fears, and doubts and what it is that you feel or need at that moment that you’re trying to get from indulging in such activities.
Or what it is that you’re avoiding.
As well as how you feel and think about yourself.
This has the potential to give you so many insights, but you have to be willing to feel a little uncomfortable first and learn a new habit that will replace the old one (comparison), which was used for calming your nervous system down even though it actually caused you trouble.
It was useful sometimes before, and that’s ok; you can say thanks for that, but it’s not anymore.
You need to dig just a little deeper, but it will be worth your while.
It’s okay to just start by noticing what’s going on and go from there, step by step.
You may be interested to read later:
As well as:
#2 START PRACTISING SELF-COMPASSION IN AS MANY SITUATIONS AS POSSIBLE
Self-compassion is very important in life, but it’s even more significant if you’re trying to grow self-acceptance.
This is because you remain gentle with yourself, both in good times and bad, to help yourself persevere and grow.
You can grow from most life situations, but it’s really hard to do so if you are really hard on yourself. But know that this isn’t your fault, and you didn’t choose it.
Fortunately enough, it is possible to become more self-compassionate, but you need to learn how to allow this first.
Being hard on yourself, for example, through perfectionism, is a coping mechanism that has served you well before. But how are you doing now?
Are you being extra cautious because of it?
Are you trying to avoid all the risks in life?
Are you always trying to avoid making a mistake or expecting others to do so as well?
Are you trying to reach all your goals, or else you’ll be obligated to punish yourself?
Are you always playing it safe and therefore playing small?
If you become more self-compassionate, you can expect more productivity, efficiency, and even being more ambitious and determined over time because you’ll have more flexibility for things not going the exact way you intend.
When you have more flexibility, you:
- Let yourself try different things,
- Allow yourself not to be perfect (every time),
- Decide to permit yourself not to hit all the goals you set, which creates freedom to set higher goals for yourself and your life.
To help yourself with self-love through self-compassion, check out my post that has a list of 10 workbooks created for growing self-love.
Even though it’s not expected that you change how you operate instantly, it’s possible to hack “the system” by starting to practise more and more self-compassion in your life.
Just keep practising and go slowly.
You can focus on your self-talk, for example. So let’s talk about that for a moment.
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#3 SET AN INTENTION TO NOTICE THE HARSH SELF-TALK
I’m not gonna lie; adopting a more supportive self-talk will take you some time, but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?
You can first start noticing the chatter that’s going on and paying more attention to it.
And then move on to slowly begin changing how you talk to yourself, especially in tricky or challenging situations.
Or on occasions in which you tend to nurture very harsh self-talk as a result of being very strict with yourself when it comes to success or performance.
Just try to take it down a little; that’s enough so that you can begin to understand that it’s safe to do so.
A more compassionate self-talk helps you flexibilize demands you set on yourself, which as a result brings more harmony and accomplishments to your life over time.
This is because you begin to reduce the excessive self-judgement or criticality you apply to all situations.
(And that’s key because excessive criticality is what prevents you from experimenting, making mistakes, letting yourself not have all the answers, failing, and trying again.)
Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that you stop being self-critical, accountable, and responsible altogether, so don’t fear this change.
We need self-criticism and accountability in life, so positive self-talk isn’t a deflecting manoeuvre.
The harsh self-talk has its function in your life, so don’t resist it, try to push through it, or use force.
Just work with it.
Notice it, observe what’s going on, and how you feel. It may even feel good as it’s familiar and serves a purpose, but you’ll start to see things more clearly by paying more attention to it.
When you do so, you get a chance to realise the contradiction that exists between what you want to accomplish and experience and what you’re creating with what you’re doing regarding how you refer to yourself.
You can let me know how it goes.
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#4 JOURNAL FOR SELF-EXPLORATION AND SELF-DISCOVERY
Use a journal or notebook to start your self-exploratory and self-discovery journey. If you decide to get a journal, you can consider a prompted one, which is already created and designed to help you take the self-exploratory path.
This is easier, or better said, more convenient, but you can also find prompts somewhere (for example, online) and just use a basic notebook where you can write.
Start writing in either one of them by deciding you don’t need to do it ideally, just start slowly and take it step by step, day by day.
Journaling gives you a chance for self-reflection activities, raising self-awareness, recognising and processing emotions, self-expression, problem-solving, decision-making, progress tracking, and social more.
Concerning self-love and self-love hacks, what’s critical or essential is getting to know yourself. More precisely, it’s about discovering what you truly desire, independent of social pressure, expectations, and conventions.
Now that’s one thing, and another is having the courage to deviate from them.
But nevertheless, through journaling, you get an opportunity to get to know yourself a little better and get a step closer to being more authentic by honouring your voice.
You can let thoughts flow freely or try to focus on organising your thoughts and putting them into coherent sentences.
This process forces you to clarify your ideas and articulate them clearly, because writing helps you make sense of complex concepts, untangle your thoughts, and even communicate effectively.
I have some blog posts featuring journals you can check out. I’m positive you’ll find them useful:
#5 EXERCISING MORE INDEPENDENT DECISION-MAKING
When there are more problems with self-love than you’d like, what often happens is that you may be too insecure to make an (important) decision before you make sure everyone/most people around you are comfortable with it.
Or you’re having trouble deviating from social conventions. Just keep in mind that you may not be fully aware of this, so simply take this into consideration.
You may fear judgement and even oppression if you consider being “insubordinate” to any societal expectations and pressure, even though there may not be an objective threat.
This is a coping mechanism as well, but it’s not good for you right now, which is why you’d benefit from moving away from it slowly.
Practise is key.
So take small steps to free yourself from so much fear and anxiety around this.
Meaning – begin slowly freeing yourself to take the desired actions despite of being scared or feeling very anxious to do so knowing that others won’t do you any harm if you do.
Additionally, when there’s a problem with independent decision-making, you’re at the same time trying to exonerate yourself or save yourself from guilt or even responsibility in case you “fail” to do something you’re expected to do.
And that’s because you were probably forbidden to make mistakes from a very young age, which means that you experienced high, maybe even impossible-to-attain demands.
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In some form, we all experience this, as societal standards and pressure are not really inclined towards coloring outside the lines.
However, some (or many) people have experienced pretty rigorous standards while growing up and have had to deal with inflexible demands.
And that’s why you’re trying to rely on others to “share the responsibility” with you or to get validation and acceptance before you make an important decision.
For some it may be even any decision, because they have to get everyone onboard in order not to “get on anyone’s bad side”.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you’re not responsible as a person; it’s just that you’re trying to feel the pulse of your environment so that you are sure you don’t suffer nasty consequences, even though there may not be such threats anymore.
And if they do exist, now that you’re an adult, you don’t have to meet these demands, and you can decide what’s good for you, considering your survival is not dependent on this submission anymore.
It will be difficult at first, but you have to start liberating yourself little by little and practising more authentic and independent decision-making.
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#6 LET YOURSELF FEEL INSECURITY
By facing and feeling your insecurities, you can build resilience and develop self-confidence, even though this may sound counterintuitive right now.
And that’s because you keep hearing how you’ve got to have self-confidence or you’re doomed.
Now, even though it’s true that you need self-confidence, that doesn’t mean you should never feel insecure or avoid putting yourself in that situation.
That’s very unproductive because it’ll prevent you from learning new things and acquiring new skills, considering you can’t be confident in the skills you don’t already have.
So there’s a danger in blocking yourself from being insecure because you may start believing that you can do things you’re not qualified for, for instance.
Therefore insecurity has its purpose in life, and we shouldn’t suffocate it, considering that letting yourself feel insecure can lead to a more balanced and realistic self-image.
When you allow yourself to experience insecurity without avoiding or suppressing it, you develop the capacity to navigate challenging emotions and to move forward towards becoming less insecure as you become more and more skilled.
Futhermore, as you navigate and overcome your insecurities, you cultivate more self-confidence, knowing that you have the inner strength to face and overcome challenges, big or small.
Plus, when you acknowledge and process your insecurities, you gain a clearer understanding of your strengths and limitations.
This self-awareness allows you to see yourself as a multidimensional individual rather than solely focusing on your perceived shortcomings.
Moreover, by embracing your insecurities, you develop a healthier and more balanced perspective of yourself, valuing your strengths while accepting and working on areas for improvement.
Allowing yourself to feel insecure requires giving yourself permission to experience vulnerability and recognizing that it is a natural part of being human.
And the more in touch you are with your humanity and with who you really are, the more you can know, appreciate, and finally love yourself.
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DO YOU CARE ENOUGH TO TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER BEYOND JUST HOPING FOR SELF-LOVE? I’LL MENTION THE PLATFORM I’M USING
If you, or someone you care about is eager to find a way to positively contribute to the level of self-acceptance and obtain more self-love, consider a program dedicated specifically for this called LIVE BY YOUR OWN RULES by Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, a serial entrepreneur, speaker, and co-founder of Mindvalley, hosted on Mindvalley platform.
Live By Your Own Rules is a self-exploration that leads to self-discovery, self-liberation, and embracing authenticity.
It’ll take only 15 minutes of your day over 31 days, where Kristina will guide you through her unique process to shed the light on masks of society, identify your personal truths, and nurture your relationship with themselves.
You’ll understand how you’ve been restrained by societal standards and expectations about who you need to be to be accepted and valued. And this is why self-love has been so far away from you, distant, elusive, or even felt unreachable, but it doesn’t have to be anymore.
Instead of being captivated by fabricated societal norms, you’ll learn ways to innovate on how you work, love, play, and even fulfill your purpose, define happiness, pleasure, and success according to your own rules and criteria not someone else’s you don’t even know or care about.
And as your journey brings deeper connection with yourself, you’ll begin to accept all parts of yourself, as you live, and express yourself truthfully.
By the end of the Quest, your relationship with yourself can become so solid that standards of society will never have the jeopardize your authenticity again.
If you want to start the program (called Quest inside the Membership) or you want to give it as a gift to someone, you can do it by getting the Mindvalley membership or buying just this program.
But keep in mind that the price of the program (and most single programs) covers most of the yearly membership pricing. You get the greatest value for money when you choose to pay the yearly option.
But if you’re getting it as a gift or you’re not ready for a yearly commitment just yet, you can choose a monthly option, and then continue using it if you happen to like it. And I can almost guarantee that you will.
Now, I’ll tell you more about the membership.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PLATFORM – MINDVALLEY MEMBERSHIP
Inside this powerful and unique membership, you’ll be able to choose from 100+ programs designed for elevating different areas of life, such as relationships, wellness, resilience, career, business, mindfulness, etc. You can go self paced or join a class, if you need more accountability.
That’s a full personal development journey and transformation.
What you can expect once you begin engaging with this platform is:
- true self-discovery so that you can start identifying your real preferences, aspirations, goals, and dreams
- setting meaningful goals that have the potential to fulfill your need for self-actualization as opposed to only living on someone else’s terms and building someone else’s dream in order to be accepted by the environment and perceived as successful
- liberation from fabricated societal expectation and norms that not only don’t serve you, but are in fact representing oppression which is suffocating your soul that only wants you to live in alignment with whom you truly are and not what society expects you to be
- to finally awaken your authenticity by letting yourself be visible as opposed to being shy or ashamed of who you are deep down or what you want behind the closed doors
- to acquire skills to make life decisions aligned with your core values and true desires coming from the depth of your being
- begin stepping into your potential and move towards reaching full potential unique for you and different from anyone else’s in the world
- become skilled at self-love that holds the key to building the life of your dreams
- finally become comfortable in your own skin, doing your own thing, and going where you truly want to go in life
- build the life you are proud to call your own and experience lasting fulfilment because your consciousness is so expanded that you don’t need to worry about whether things will work out for you ever again, as now you have skills and support to make them work
- healthy and vibrant mind, body, soul, and relationships, considering that the platform delves deep into all these topics and areas of life.
If you’re not sure where to start, as soon as you join, you can take an assessment, and afterward, you’ll receive recommendations for where to begin.
Even if you haven’t been focused on your growth untill now, this shouldn’t stop you from taking action now.
Moreover, now is the best time, you’ve got what it takes to design a life tailored to your preferences, and it’s worth your while to focus on yourself and invest in yourself.
The Quest are delivered by world best known experts, coaches, and trainers that are now collaborating with Mindvalley to bring you the transformation you need in the personal development category of your choice.
If Mindvalley chose them, you can be sure they’re the best.
There are 6 categories on the Mindvalley platform:
- Mind
- Body
- Soul
- Relationships
- Career Growth
- Entrepreneurship
And inside the membership, you’ll find:
- Full access to Mindvalley’s entire curriculum of best-in-class programs for transforming every dimension of your life. (100+)
2. Weekly Mindvalley Live sessions featuring today’s biggest trainers, bestselling authors, and celebrities.
3. Full access to Mindvalley Meditations, featuring a vast selection of guided and ambient meditation audios for deep inner transformation.
4. Access to Mindvalley’s private social network, where you can connect, share wisdom, and grow with fellow members in your city and around the world.
And if you happen to like it and you’re considering subscribing, but you want to know more about how it works and what to expect, read:
- the review of the Live By Your Own Rules program I wrote: 30 Days Of Self-Love – A Review Of Live By Your Own Rules Mindvalley Program. (It’ll tell you how it would be like to follow this program.
- my post that mentions more than 30 programs you can expect to find on the platform if you decide to get inside the membership: 30+ Transformational Online Personal Development Programs For Creating The Life You Desire.
This will be the gift of your life because you’ll open the door for amazing transformation and upgrading your life to fit your preference and not someone else’s, but now with numerous personal growth tools you can take with you even if you leave the membership, and use for the rest of your time to help you thrive.
This membership brings a community of like-minded people to you, helps you feel connected and will help you heal, besides giving you the chance to level up your life experience.
Additionally, Mindvalley has developed an app that makes it super easy and super convenient to use daily.
I advise you to start your day with Mindvalley meditations or with a lesson of the program of your choice.
Right now you can enjoy Mindvalley at a special price.
OTHER SELF-LOVE RESOURCES
Self-love resources are tools, materials, or support systems designed to help you develop a positive relationship with yourself by learning about yourself and knowing yourself better, enhancing self-esteem, and cultivating a sense of self-worth.
I have several blog posts that feature different self-love resources that you can check out:
- SELF-LOVE PROGRAM (30-DAY SELF-LOVE JOURNEY)-REVIEW OF LIVE BY YOUR OWN RULES MINDVALLEY PROGRAM
- THE BEST BOOKS FOR SELF-LOVE AND HEALING (19) FOR UNLEASHING SELF-LOVE
- THE BEST 14 SELF-LOVE JOURNALS TO BREAK FREE FROM UNNECESSARY RESTRICTIONS
- THE BEST 12 SELF-LOVE WORKBOOKS FOR BREAKING FREE FROM SELF-JUDGEMENT THROUGH SELF-COMPASSION AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE
- 7 SELF-LOVE JOURNALS FOR WOMEN (TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE THROUGH EMPOWERMENT)
- 11 SELF-LOVE POETRY BOOKS: LOVE, LINE BY LINE THROUGH POETIC PROSE
- 9 SELF-LOVE GAMES FOR ADULTS TO TRY AND POWER-UP YOUR WELL-BEING
- THE BEST SELF-ESTEEM JOURNALS AND WORKBOOKS FOR ADULTS (7) TO TRANSFORM SELF-PERCEPTION
- SELF-LOVE THINGS TO BUY FOR ADULTS ONLINE (13) TO ELEVATE LOVE FOR YOURSELF
- GOOD SELF-LOVE GIFTS: 12 GIFT IDEAS FOR SOUL NOURISHING
- THE BEST 8 SELF-LOVE GIFTS FOR FRIENDS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH IT (OR YOU)
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FINAL THOUGHTS ON SELF-LOVE HACKS
Before we part ways, I just want to say to you that self-love is not an elusive concept reserved for a lucky few.
It’s a journey that each of us should take armed with these powerful self-love hacks.
By being more mindful of the important things, we can unlock the doors to self-love and transform our lives.
Remember, it’s not about instant change but about embracing progress and growth one step at a time.
So go forth, embrace all your unique strengths, and watch as your relationship with yourself blossoms into something truly extraordinary.
You deserve it.
You are worthy of love and acceptance.
Happy hacking self-love! And I’ll see you in my next post!
You can check out these posts now:
3 Biggest Mistakes With Self-acceptance
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