Hey there, fellow self-love seeker! Are you ready to uncover some powerful self-love hacks that will propel you forward like you need?
Self-Love Hacks: 6 Practices to Cultivate More Love for Yourself
Well, you’re in the right place, because we’re about to dive into a treasure trove of practical activities and practises that will help you overcome setbacks and embrace self-love more easily.
You know, I call them Self-Love Hacks because they’ll help you set yourself up for success as you implement these self-love-growing activities and get used to self-treatment practises in alignment with self-love. These self-love hacks are all about aligning your actions and mindset with the concept of self-love, allowing you to treat yourself with the care and compassion you deserve.
First up, we’ll talk about the art of mindful comparison. And explore how being aware of when you’re comparing yourself to others can impact your self-esteem, which may have already been shaken enough, and support you in going towards consciously choosing self-acceptance over the never-ending comparison cycle.
Next, get ready to unleash the power of self-compassion in every aspect of your life. I’ll show you how being gentle with yourself, both in the good and the bad, can help you grow, persevere, and achieve more in the long run.
What do you think about saying goodbye to being overly critical and saying hello to more nurturing and empowering self-talk?
Oh, and have you ever considered the transformative potential of journaling? Grab a journal or even a basic notebook and get ready for a ritual of self-exploration because it’s time to get to know yourself on a deeper level.
But wait, there’s more! We’ll also tackle the challenge of independent decision-making. If you find yourself being dependent on validation and approval from others, I’ll tell you about the liberation of making choices that align with your true desires, as it’s about time to embrace your autonomy and trust yourself more.
Lastly, we’ll explore the power of embracing insecurity. Yes, you heard that right. By allowing yourself to feel and navigate through insecurities, you can actually build resilience and develop genuine self-confidence.
So we’ll uncover how acknowledging and processing your insecurities can lead to a healthier and more balanced perspective of yourself, one that values your strengths while acknowledging areas for growth.
Get ready to hack into self-love and create a life filled with self-acceptance, compassion, and unwavering self-worth. Let’s dive into our self-love hacks!
Note: Although I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), engaging with this website does not establish a professional social worker-client relationship. The information provided here is for general purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. While we strive to ensure accuracy and reliability, this content is not a substitute for professional guidance. For specific concerns, issues, or situations, it is essential to consult a qualified professional and present your situation. Read the full Disclaimer here.
SELF-LOVE HACKS
#1 BE MINDFUL ABOUT COMPARISON
When you’re mindful about comparison, you can notice when you’re comparing yourself to others and how it affects your self-esteem.
You already have a certain level of self-esteem, but this doesn’t mean things can’t change, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It can start with this type of awareness. That awareness enables you to learn how to consciously choose self-acceptance instead of the never-ending cycle of comparison. The comparison feeds itself but eats you—the more you do it, the more you need it.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with comparison, as we need to measure where we stand, therefore we look for individuals in a similar position around us to understand more about how we’re doing.
However, this is very different from only doing certain things that we don’t even know are in alignment with our values or desires so that we don’t feel less than, considering everyone else around us is doing them or we’re under a lot of social or peer pressure. Especially if we don’t have real, tangible proof that we’re, in fact, less than.
It can be that we’re not, for instance, “successful” enough, but that fact still won’t change with our comparison rituals. What will contribute to change is focusing on ourselves, because by obsessing over others, what we may be in fact doing is avoiding taking responsibility for our own situation, which is not satisfying for us.
So, it’s possible to be mindful of how often we get stuck in comparison or if we’re even obsessing with it.
Now, if you see that constant comparison is causing you trouble, try to understand when it is that you “reach for” comparison to understand more about your emotional needs, fears, and doubts and what it is that you feel or need at that moment that you’re trying to get from indulging in such activities. Or what it is that you’re avoiding.
As well as how you feel and think about yourself. This has the potential to give you so many insights, but you have to be willing to feel a little uncomfortable first and learn a new habit that will replace the old one (comparison), which was used for calming your nervous system down even though it actually caused you trouble.
It was useful sometimes before, and that’s ok; you can say thanks for that, but it’s not anymore. You need to dig just a little deeper, but it will be worth your while. It’s okay to just start by noticing what’s going on and go from there, step by step.
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#2 START PRACTISING SELF-COMPASSION IN AS MANY SITUATIONS AS POSSIBLE
Self-compassion is very important in life, but it’s even more significant if you’re trying to grow self-acceptance. This is because you remain gentle with yourself, both in good times and bad, to help yourself persevere and grow.
You can grow from most life situations, but it’s really hard to do so if you are really hard on yourself. But know that this isn’t your fault, and you didn’t choose it. Fortunately enough, it is possible to become more self-compassionate, but you need to learn how to allow this first.
Being hard on yourself, for example, through perfectionism, is a coping mechanism that has served you well before. But how are you doing now? Are you being extra cautious because of it? Are you trying to avoid all the risks in life?
Are you always trying to avoid making a mistake or expecting others to do so as well? Are you trying to reach all your goals, or else you’ll be obligated to punish yourself? Are you always playing it safe and therefore playing small?
If you become more self-compassionate, you can expect more productivity, efficiency, and even being more ambitious and determined over time because you’ll have more flexibility for things not going the exact way you intend.
When you have more flexibility, you:
- Let yourself try different things,
- Allow yourself not to be perfect (every time),
- Decide to permit yourself not to hit all the goals you set, which creates freedom to set higher goals for yourself and your life.
To help yourself with self-love through self-compassion, check out my post that has a list of 10 workbooks created for growing self-love. Or check some of them below:
Paid link: Self-Love Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are (Self-Love Workbook and Journal)
Embrace who you are with this guided self-love book for women of any age and any background. You’ll embark on your journey of self-discovery by learning what self-love is, and then immersing yourself in exercises to help you build your self-esteem and improve or elevate your relationships.
This very successful self-Love workbook created by a fellow Megan Logan, LCSW is designed with a clear intention to empower women on their journey of self-discovery and self-love. So if you like my approach to self-love you’ll probably like this. Because as you’ll see that I always emphasize that to increase self-love we need some practice and endurance and to show consistency.
The self-love workbooks typically include exercises, prompts, and activities that encourage self-reflection, self-compassion, and self-care, in addition to practical tools and strategies for setting boundaries, managing stress and anxiety, and cultivating healthier habits.
By getting a self-love workbook, you’re benefiting from a valuable resource that can empower you to take control of your mental and emotional health, develop a more positive and compassionate relationship with yourself, and in the end, improve your overall well-being.
I’ve collected a few helpful Self-Love Workbooks in my post: The Best Self-Love Workbooks To Help You Finally Break Free From Self-judgement Through Self-Compassion And Self-Acceptance.
You may want to also check out alternatively (or combine the 2 workbooks):
Paid link: Self-Love Workbook for Black Women: Empowering Exercises to Build Self-Compassion and Nurture Your True Self (Self-Love Workbook and Journal)
As an African American woman, juggling many roles can leave little time for self-care. With this in mind, here’s an empowering self-love and self-care workbook designed to help you prioritize your joy, healing, and growth, with affirmations and exercises that nurture your authentic self.
Embrace self-love, build inner peace, and cultivate confidence while exploring themes of self-compassion and community.
You may also like:
Paid link: SELF-CARE ACTIVITIES FOR WOMEN: 101 PRACTICAL WAYS TO SLOW DOWN AND RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF
Prioritizing well-being is crucial, especially for women who often/usually prioritize others.
“Self-Care Activities for Women” offers a variety of ways to relax and find joy, covering emotional, mental, physical, social, and professional care.
With 101 simple activities, from creating a joy playlist to cooking a healthy meal, this book encourages making time for ourselves and cultivating a habit of self-check-ins.
Even though it’s not expected that you change how you operate instantly, it’s possible to hack “the system” by starting to practise more and more self-compassion in your life. Just keep practising and go slowly.
You can focus on your self-talk, for example. So let’s talk about that for a moment.
#3 SET AN INTENTION TO NOTICE THE HARSH SELF-TALK
I’m not gonna lie; adopting a more supportive self-talk will take you some time, but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?
You can first start noticing the chatter that’s going on and paying more attention to it. And then move on to slowly begin changing how you talk to yourself, especially in tricky or challenging situations. Or on occasions in which you tend to nurture very harsh self-talk as a result of being very strict with yourself when it comes to success or performance.
Just try to take it down a little; that’s enough so that you can begin to understand that it’s safe to do so.
A more compassionate self-talk helps you flexibilize demands you set on yourself, which as a result brings more harmony and accomplishments to your life over time. This is because you begin to reduce the excessive self-judgement or criticality you apply to all situations. (And that’s key because excessive criticality is what prevents you from experimenting, making mistakes, letting yourself not have all the answers, failing, and trying again.)
Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that you stop being self-critical, accountable, and responsible altogether, so don’t fear this change. We need self-criticism and accountability in life, so positive self-talk isn’t a deflecting manoeuvre.
The harsh self-talk has its function in your life, so don’t resist it, try to push through it, or use force. Just work with it. Notice it, observe what’s going on, and how you feel. It may even feel good as it’s familiar and serves a purpose, but you’ll start to see things more clearly by paying more attention to it.
When you do so, you get a chance to realise the contradiction that exists between what you want to accomplish and experience and what you’re creating with what you’re doing regarding how you refer to yourself. You can let me know how it goes.
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#4 JOURNAL FOR SELF-EXPLORATION AND SELF-DISCOVERY
Use a journal or notebook to start your self-exploratory and self-discovery journey. If you decide to get a journal, you can consider a prompted one, which is already created and designed to help you take the self-exploratory path. This is easier, or better said, more convenient, but you can also find prompts somewhere (for example, online) and just use a basic notebook where you can write.
Start writing in either one of them by deciding you don’t need to do it ideally, just start slowly and take it step by step, day by day. Journaling gives you a chance for self-reflection activities, raising self-awareness, recognising and processing emotions, self-expression, problem-solving, decision-making, progress tracking, and social more.
Concerning self-love and self-love hacks, what’s critical or essential is getting to know yourself. More precisely, it’s about discovering what you truly desire, independent of social pressure, expectations, and conventions.
Now that’s one thing, and another is having the courage to deviate from them. Nevertheless, through journaling, you get an opportunity to get to know yourself a little better and get a step closer to being more authentic by honouring your voice.
You can let thoughts flow freely or try to focus on organising your thoughts and putting them into coherent sentences. This process forces you to clarify your ideas and articulate them clearly, because writing helps you make sense of complex concepts, untangle your thoughts, and even communicate effectively.
I have some blog posts featuring journals you can check out. I’m positive you’ll find them useful:
Or pick from some of these:
Paid link: A Year of Self-Care: Daily Practices and Inspiration for Caring for Yourself (A Year of Daily Reflections)
This is a 12-week anxiety and self care journal that will help you process what’s occupying your mind and gently re-frame your thoughts, so you can manage your worries before they get to spiral out of control. This could potentially help if you’re feeling anxious even to start self-exploration.
It was designed to meet you where you are and guide you to developing a practice of dedicating a few minutes a day to reflect on your thoughts, detect the sources of your anxiety, and prioritize your overall wellness and mental health. This is dedicating a few minutes to yourself you really need.
It has:
- Daily Journaling Pages
- Self-Care Ideas
- Therapy Reflections
- Emotional Support Cheat Sheet
- Fear-Setting Exercises
- Habit Trackers
- Monthly Progress
Paid link: The 5-Minute Self-Care Journal for Women: Prompts, Practices, and Affirmations to Prioritize You
This journal offers quick and easy self-care practices to meet your needs amidst a busy life.
It stands out with 150 uplifting prompts promoting growth mindset, mindfulness, and positive intentions.
Spend just 5 minutes on self-love with its effortless questions, affirmations, and actions.
Plus, its user-friendly design makes reflection recording enjoyable.
Paid link: Self-Love Journal for Teen Girls: Prompts and Practices to Inspire Confidence and Celebrate You
If you’re a teen (or get this for your teen if you’re a parent) start the new year by encouraging yourself to embrace self-love and confidence.
The Self-Love Journal for Teen Girls offers affirmations, reflective prompts, and creative activities that can help you understand your emotions and celebrate your uniqueness.
With uplifting quotes and practical exercises, it’s a powerful tool for fostering self-awareness, self-worth, and self-care.
Paid link: SELF-LOVE JOURNAL FOR WOMEN: Prompts and Practices for Your Journey to Self-Worth, Self-Care, and Self-Acceptance (Workbook and Journal)
Self-love journals often include prompts for self-care activities and practices. By prioritizing self-care and making it a regular part of your routine, you can nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
This Self-Love journal includes prompts and practices for taking a path of self-worth, self-care, and self-acceptance.
Women everywhere encounter unrealistic societal expectations that lead to feelings of overwhelm and discontent with themselves. However, discovering the path to self-love and embracing our uniqueness can significantly alter our perspective on life, and this guided journal is designed for just that.
#5 EXERCISING MORE INDEPENDENT DECISION-MAKING
When there are more problems with self-love than you’d like, what often happens is that you may be too insecure to make an (important) decision before you make sure everyone/most people around you are comfortable with it.
Or you’re having trouble deviating from social conventions. Just keep in mind that you may not be fully aware of this, so simply take this into consideration.
You may fear judgement and even oppression if you consider being “insubordinate” to any societal expectations and pressure, even though there may not be an objective threat. This is a coping mechanism as well, but it’s not good for you right now, which is why you’d benefit from moving away from it slowly.
Practise is key. So take small steps to free yourself from so much fear and anxiety around this. Meaning – begin slowly freeing yourself to take the desired actions despite of being scared or feeling very anxious to do so knowing that others won’t do you any harm if you do.
Additionally, when there’s a problem with independent decision-making, you’re at the same time trying to exonerate yourself or save yourself from guilt or even responsibility in case you “fail” to do something you’re expected to do. And that’s because you were probably forbidden to make mistakes from a very young age, which means that you experienced high, maybe even impossible-to-attain demands.
In some form, we all experience this, as societal standards and pressure are not really inclined towards coloring outside the lines. However, some (or many) people have experienced pretty rigorous standards while growing up and have had to deal with inflexible demands. And that’s why you’re trying to rely on others to “share the responsibility” with you or to get validation and acceptance before you make an important decision.
For some it may be even any decision, because they have to get everyone onboard in order not to “get on anyone’s bad side”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you’re not responsible as a person; it’s just that you’re trying to feel the pulse of your environment so that you are sure you don’t suffer nasty consequences, even though there may not be such threats anymore.
And if they do exist, now that you’re an adult, you don’t have to meet these demands, and you can decide what’s good for you, considering your survival is not dependent on this submission anymore. It will be difficult at first, but you have to start liberating yourself little by little and practising more authentic and independent decision-making.
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#6 LET YOURSELF FEEL INSECURITY
By facing and feeling your insecurities, you can build resilience and develop self-confidence, even though this may sound counterintuitive right now. And that’s because you keep hearing how you’ve got to have self-confidence or you’re doomed.
Now, even though it’s true that you need self-confidence, that doesn’t mean you should never feel insecure or avoid putting yourself in that situation. That’s very unproductive because it’ll prevent you from learning new things and acquiring new skills, considering you can’t be confident in the skills you don’t already have.
So there’s a danger in blocking yourself from being insecure because you may start believing that you can do things you’re not qualified for, for instance. This suggests that insecurity has its purpose in life, and we shouldn’t suffocate it, considering that letting yourself feel insecure can lead to a more balanced and realistic self-image.
When you allow yourself to experience insecurity without avoiding or suppressing it, you develop the capacity to navigate challenging emotions and to move forward towards becoming less insecure as you become more and more skilled.
Futhermore, as you navigate and overcome your insecurities, you cultivate more self-confidence, knowing that you have the inner strength to face and overcome challenges, big or small.
Plus, when you acknowledge and process your insecurities, you gain a clearer understanding of your strengths and limitations. This self-awareness allows you to see yourself as a multidimensional individual rather than solely focusing on your perceived shortcomings.
Moreover, by embracing your insecurities, you develop a healthier and more balanced perspective of yourself, valuing your strengths while accepting and working on areas for improvement.
Allowing yourself to feel insecure requires giving yourself permission to experience vulnerability and recognizing that it is a natural part of being human. And the more in touch you are with your humanity and with who you really are, the more you can know, appreciate, and finally love yourself.
OTHER SELF-LOVE RESOURCES
Self-love resources are tools, materials, or support systems designed to help you develop a positive relationship with yourself by learning about yourself and knowing yourself better, enhancing self-esteem, and cultivating a sense of self-worth.
I have several blog posts that feature different self-love resources that you can check out:
- THE BEST BOOKS FOR SELF-LOVE AND HEALING (19) FOR UNLEASHING SELF-LOVE
- THE BEST 14 SELF-LOVE JOURNALS TO BREAK FREE FROM UNNECESSARY RESTRICTIONS
- THE BEST 12 SELF-LOVE WORKBOOKS FOR BREAKING FREE FROM SELF-JUDGEMENT THROUGH SELF-COMPASSION AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE
- 7 SELF-LOVE JOURNALS FOR WOMEN (TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE THROUGH EMPOWERMENT)
- 11 SELF-LOVE POETRY BOOKS: LOVE, LINE BY LINE THROUGH POETIC PROSE
- 9 SELF-LOVE GAMES FOR ADULTS TO TRY AND POWER-UP YOUR WELL-BEING
- THE BEST SELF-ESTEEM JOURNALS AND WORKBOOKS FOR ADULTS (7) TO TRANSFORM SELF-PERCEPTION
- SELF-LOVE THINGS TO BUY FOR ADULTS ONLINE (13) TO ELEVATE LOVE FOR YOURSELF
- GOOD SELF-LOVE GIFTS: 12 GIFT IDEAS FOR SOUL NOURISHING
- THE BEST 8 SELF-LOVE GIFTS FOR FRIENDS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH IT (OR YOU)
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FINAL THOUGHTS ON SELF-LOVE HACKS
Before we part ways, I just want to say to you that self-love is not an elusive concept reserved for a lucky few.
It’s a journey that each of us should take armed with these powerful self-love hacks.
By being more mindful of the important things, we can unlock the doors to self-love and transform our lives.
Remember, it’s not about instant change but about embracing progress and growth one step at a time.
So go forth, embrace all your unique strengths, and watch as your relationship with yourself blossoms into something truly extraordinary.
You deserve it.
You are worthy of love and acceptance.
Happy hacking self-love! And I’ll see you in my next post!
You can check out these posts now:
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